Powers of Two
Unimpressed by Guido’s Count von Count caricature, Unique ID cites his prior efforts in hip-hop as the superior alternative. While settling their differences over an episode of Daisy’s Binary Workout, ID and Guido are visited by the extraterrestrial robot duo, Craft Punk. ID exponentially increases the funk using powers of two.
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>>ALIEN 1: [Incomprehensible modem screeching]
>>ALIEN 2: [Incomprehensible modem screeching]
>>GUIDO: Two bytes of data. Mwahaha. Four bytes of data. Mwahaha. Eight bytes of data. Mwahaha. Sixteen bytes of data! Mwahaha.
>>ID: I’m not gonna say it.
>>GUIDO: ID, we’re not going to fight about this, okay?
>>ID: Guido, I’ve told you before, I’m a lover not a fighter. Besides, we don’t need any of these cheap gimmicks to appeal to the masses.
>>GUIDO: How are we supposed to teach powers of 2 if you don’t play along?
>>ID: Once my rap videos go viral, we’ll be more popular than The Beatles.
>>GUIDO: Refresh my memory.
>>ID: This would be a lot easier if you would watch the videos in order.
>>GUIDO: I’m more of a kinesthetic learner.
>>ID: I’ve got just the video for you.
>>DAISY: Come on everybody, do the binary dance with me! When I say one, raise your arms above your head, like this. One! Zero. One. Zero. Aaand one! Zero. One. Zero. Good! Now we’re gonna shake it up. Relax your arms and rotate your body at the hips. This isn’t educational, but it looks hilarious.
>>ALIEN 1: Bonjour earth-puppets. We are currently orbiting The Hello World.
>>ID: Big deal…
>>ALIEN 2: Our planet eez unfunky and obsolete.
>>ALIEN 1: We saw your impressive MC skills in zee previous episode.
>>ALIEN 2: You’ve got all zat eez really needed to save our dying world
>>ID: I told you my videos would go viral. I’d love to share my funk, but there’s more to it than that. Funk is in my very circuits. I’m funky on a mathematical level.
>>ALIEN 1: Explain.
>>ID: First you must understand the power of two. All good things come in twos: de Homem-Christo and Bangalter, Flansburgh and Linnell, Barrat and Fielding.
>>GUIDO: Or Guido and ID!
>>ID: Or ID and Guido…
>>GUIDO: So what ID is saying is, one bit of computer data has two possible values, zero or one.
>>ID: Or one and zero. Adding another bit of data doubles our maximum potential values. So two bits of data may contain four possible combinations, and three bits of data doubles that again to as many as eight, or two to the power of three.
>>GUIDO: Blimey, I do love math.
>>ID: Yeah, python is a good calculator.
>>ALIEN 1: Zees eez not funky.
>>ID: Patience, young grasshopper. The journey of 1,024 bytes begins with a single bit. We can make a byte with eight bits of data.
>>ALIEN 2: Zees “byte”, eez eet funky?
>>ID: Very! One byte of data provides 256 possible binary arrangements, or the values 0 through 255. Imagine a song with only one beat. If you’re a human connected to an EKG, this is music to your ears. But for robots like us, it’s totally boring. Right?
>>ALIEN 2: Zat is correct.
>>ID: If every note within an eight-note Dorian scale can have two states–off or on–then we can create 256 variations on this song. But it’s still not very funky. Adding just one beat doubles our potential arrangements.
>>ALIEN 1: Magnifique!
>>ID: No, that’s a polka.
>>ALIEN 2: Polka is not cool?
>>ID: No, polka is not cool. We need to increase the power of our song one more time to get four beats.
>>ALIEN 1: Zees is, how you say, ‘four on the floor’?
>>ID: Yes, disco gave birth to electronic dance music. And the home computer revolution. In the spirit of Moore’s Law, let’s increase our power again.
>>ALIEN 2: Zee beats, zey increase exponentially!
>>ALIEN 1: Plus plus!
>>ALIEN 2: What do you think of our post-disco boogie bassline?
>>ID: It’s aight if you’re making hard drives or storage. Let’s double back…
>>GUIDO: This bass line is fat, yo.
>>ID: Agreed, but if we want to go platinum, we need to add more instruments.
>>ALIEN 1: C’est bon.
>>ALIEN 2: Oui, oui!
>>ID: All that’s missing is a vocal hook… The Hello World, The Hello World… The Hello World, The Hello World…
>>ALIEN 1: [incomprehensible excited screeching]
>>ALIEN 2: [incomprehensible excited response]
>>ALIEN 1: Merci, beaucoup.
>>ALIEN 2: Au revoir, earth-puppets.